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I'm just tired!

I'm just really mad right now and very downcast. This koschmail bike spoilage all the time is really getting to me. Plus the fact I have a very incompetent rider. I'm just tired. The little money we have managed to make has all gone on repairs. This month that was looking like we will make a profit, everything has just gone to repairs. What is it sef? Also weighing on my mind is this new TV issues. I just feel very bad about the whole thing. God pls just make a way in every area for I and Ab, especially now with finances. I'm really tired of the whole situation. Been a while I've been here and I just really needed an outlet today.
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Anxiety rising and battling procrastination

Once again my anxiety has reached peak levels and it's so paralysing. It's mind boggling how I've been actively seeking ways not to do what I need to do. I really don't know how I can overcome this fear of what I can't even lay my finger on. Sometimes I think it's my fear of failing, or what people might think of me not being good enough. But then I need to set out first before anything. I hate that I am stuck in this place solely by own making. I don't need wings to fly yet. I just want to be able to get my feet to walk first. If I fall down, I think I will be happier knowing I even tried. I need to get out of this rut. It's hell right here in my own mind. I feel like a prisoner to my inactions. God, you're the only one who truly understands this demon raging within. Please help me! There's so much to this life that I'm missing out on. I need this year not to end like the previous ones. I'm confident it's doable. Gosh! I'm al...
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Anxiety and panic attacks.

Woke up this morning feeling severe anxiety and panic attacks. Has just totally paralyzed me. I think it mostly has to do with me feeling unready to teach my makeup class which shouldn't be as I usually feel quite confident. Also partially, I feel nervous about if I will get this new job I'm hoping for. I really hate feeling this way as I feel so incapacitated and helpless. I must pray before I leave the house no matter how short. Today will go well.
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Feeling downcast

Feeling downcast since I got the news the loan request was denied. Really had high hopes. Dunno where we are to start from now. I'm just hoping that a lesser amount can be granted. Cos right now... Can't just think of where else money can come from to complete that shop. Been lethargic all day. Been wanting to pray, but can't even get around it. So far so good with diet today.  Hope it stays like this forever. I'm tryna stay positive. In all things give thanks.
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Finally! An outlet for my many thoughts.

Finally getting around to this. Can finally purge myself of some of the raging thoughts plaguing me. Penning my thoughts down has always been highly therapeutic for me. If you happen to stumble across this blog - a few notes. This blog is basically a diary - an online diary so don't expect it to be organized or blog-like. I have not figured how to make a website private so this will do for now.You're welcome to interact with me, though I will always remain anonymous.
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